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Love making and sex or not the same thing. Whether you are a man, or a gay woman, making love to your partner
should be fun, loving, and satisfying for both of you.
Of course, if it is a desperate, drunken romp at the back of the pub
or frantic sex as soon as you get through the front door these tips are
not necessary, but if you want to actually make love to a woman
we have listed some points you might like to consider if you would like
it to happen a second time!! - Think about it.
Gay women of course can ave the upper hand when it comes to making
love to a woman as they know how a woman's body works, but as we are all
different they too, shouldn't get complacent if they want their partner
to enjoy herself and be sexually fulfilled. Lesbian women already
know that sex is not just about the genitals so men take note.
When making love to a woman - especially in the early stages of a
relationship - there are some basic rules to be observed whatever sex
you are.
Getting to know each other.
Make sure your partner feels comfortable and beautiful. Unless you
are sure she has no hang up's about her body, or you know she especially
likes basic or dirty talk, don't uses expressions such as 'you've got
enormous tits' or talk about her 'fried eggs'. Just ensure she knows you
think they are beautiful. Many women feel very self conscious about the
size of their breasts so be sensitive to that possibility.
If she is a larger lady don't say 'there's more to grab hold of'. You
may see this as an endearing comment but if she hates her size it won't
make her feel any better about herself. Again, just say she is
beautiful. If you have sensed there are certain parts of her body she
hates more than others make sure those parts get some extra, gentle,
attention. The more you make her feel attractive the more she will
respond to you.
Setting The Scene.
Talk to her. You may think this is a waste of time but believe me it
isn't. It shows you care about her pleasure. The more you find out about
her likes and dislikes, what makes her feel nice etc the more you will
enjoy it too, and it will make you a much better lover - Yes, really.
If you are a man you might be tempted to lunge at her breasts or
push her face down to your penis - don't!
Making Love
Touching is crucial. Many men overlook this completely.
Spend time touching her, gently stroking her skin. Using
your hands gently over her body is a real turn on for most women.
Explore and enjoy her whole body not just the 'naughty' bits.
Kissing. When kissing her, don't stick you down straight
down her throat or make her lips feel bruised. Tease her lips and face
with your lips before becoming more passionate. Of course it goes
without saying that bad breath is a turn off. Sometimes rough
stubble on a man can also be uncomfortable so think about this when
kissing her.
Breasts. Before undressing her, gently touch her
breasts through her clothes. Don't stick her hand down her top and
squeeze them hard or pull them out of her bra. When kissing her breasts
don't be too rough or bite her nipples hard.
This said, some women, do indeed like you to treat theirs breasts -
indeed their whole body - a bit roughly but don't go there until you
know her better. Erect, hard nipples are not always a sign of sexual
arousal, it may be cold her she may be nervous. Read her bodies
reactions and take your time, you will gradually get to know what she
likes.
Undressing - Show some style when touching her or undressing
her. Do it slowly it's sensual that way. Gently tease and touch
her before gradually and slowly removing any clothing. Don't pull
frantically at her clothes or underwear.
If starts to undress herself in order to arouse you let her. Don't
rush her by suddenly grabbing her with excitement halfway through.
Passion is sexy, clumsiness or desperation are not.
Oral Sex. Men are not unique in that they usually love
their partner to go down on them - women mostly love it too. If
anything, it can be more important for women as they don't always reach
orgasm during sexual intercourse and can often need some clitoral
stimulation. The vagina on it's own doesn't have enough nerve endings to
orgasm without some form of clitoral stimulation so don't think it is
you doing something wrong it's just the way it is.
Remember, if you are going to offer oral sex make sure you are
prepared to finish what you start. Be gentle and take it slowly. If you
think you only have to stick your face down there and wiggle your tongue
about a bit think again.
Explore, listen to her breathing and other noises she
may make so you know which bits are the most sensitive and when to up
the pace. Don't stop until she has reached orgasm or asks you
to stop otherwise it's pointless. Don't expect the same action
back straight away. This isn't a take turns thing.
The G spot. Many men - and sometimes women - get
confused about what it actually is and where it is. For most women the g
spot is a very sensitive area on the front wall of her vagina about an
inch or so inside.
Some women find it very arousing to have their g spot
stimulated and can often orgasm quite quickly when it is.
Some women even 'ejaculate' - that is they emit a clear fluid that can
look like they have urinated.
If your partner indicates a wish for this insert your index finger
just inside her vagina and move your finger towards you as though doing
a 'come her' motion with it, you should find that elusive g spot. (Make
sure your fingernails are short). It feels a bit different from the rest
of the vaginal wall as it is usually slightly raised and feels a bit
spongy. Stroking it gently but applying a little pressure usually brings
on fairly quick orgasms in many women.
Penetration. Most men will want to penetrate their
partner at some point during lovemaking, and many women - even though
penetration isn't usually enough to bring them to orgasm - still enjoy
it. You may find in the first instance you make love using the
missionary position - you on top of the woman - but after a while you
might like to discuss other options. Some women for instance, like to
make love whilst being on top as it makes for deeper and more
controllable penetration and clitoral stimulation.
See some ideas of sexual positions.
For lesbian women, if your lover wants you to penetrate her you may
decide to use a sex aid such as a
strap on dildo
or a vibrator.
Even if you do not feel anything physically it can be very exciting and
a huge turn on to watch your lovers enjoyment and excitement. Of course
if you are on top of her she can also touch your breasts and clitoris
whilst you are penetrating her.
Most women are not aroused and ready for penetration after just a
few minutes of kissing and fumbling with her breasts or private parts.
Adequate, loving foreplay is essential.
Always discuss things, don't assume your lover will find certain
things exciting or sexy just because you think she might.
After love making. The initial moments after love making
can be very important for women.
Again, we women are all different. The worst thing you can do
however, is to roll over and ignore her or, fall asleep or light a
cigarette.
The clitoris - indeed much of a woman's body can be very sensitive so
don't be tempted to think you have to touch her sexually again straight
away. Make sure she is sexually satisfied and doesn't need you to do
anything else. Be sensitive and talk gently.
Some women don't like to be touched at all after sex they just prefer
to be quiet for a while but that doesn't mean you should ignore her
completely by the 'rolling over syndrome.' that can make her feel used.
Most women do, however, like to be cuddled, maybe having their hair
stroked gently etc. Take note of her body language and her response to
you. We are not all the same.
Conclusion. Talk to her, touch her, listen to her bodies
needs, take note of her body language, take things slowly, don't
lunge or grope, be calm and sensitive, don't assume it is all to do
with the genitals.
If after a while things hot up and you are asked to jump from the
top of the wardrobe or rip her blouse off her that's fine, but if
you have never made love to her before it will be safer to follow
these rules. You can be assured they will help you become a better
and more sensitive lover.
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