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FIRST IMPRESSIONS
You will only get one chance to make a first
impression on a date so give it a lot of thought before contacting someone you feel
may be right for you and before the first date.
When you register with a dating agency
If including photos of
yourself make it one of your
head and shoulders - and with you smiling.
Don't lie or exaggerate about things like your age and height etc. You'll get caught out as soon as you meet.
Your first date
Wear something you feel attractive and
comfortable in, don't try to be something you're not. Constantly fiddling with an item of clothing can make you
look, and feel, uncomfortable. Think about what impression you want to give
and dress suitably for the occasion. However, when we say don't try to be
something you're not - you must, at least, make an effort. Turning up
looking as though you are going to the supermarket isn't what we mean.
Don't be late. if you think you
will be, let them know. They will be nervous too and will think
they have been stood up.
When you first approach your date -
SMILE? It puts people at their ease. Try to look
confident.
Try to sit comfortably and to relax. Keep
eye contact - without staring and scaring the life out of them.
What to talk
about. For some of us it can be difficult to know what
to say when we first meet someone.
Don't be too personal with your
first few sentences, possibly talk about the surroundings etc. However,
always keep it positive. Don't start moaning about your journey or other
people.
Take an interest in the other person -
luckily for us women that often comes naturally. Ask
them some light questions about themselves. e.g. How far did they have to
travel to your date? What work they do? What are their main interests?
etc. Don't blurt them all out at once, it will seem like an interview. Try
to make the conversation flow. Think of some things to ask and say before
the date.
Keep the conversation light.
Don't assume the other person won't be interested in what you have to say.
Do not however, go on about the same thing for ages or constantly talk
about yourself. You'll see their eyes glaze over.
Be a good listener. Really hear
what they are saying. Try to gauge when to speak and when to listen. Try
to find some common ground where you both feel confident and
knowledgeable. Each of you have the job of making the other feel
comfortable.
What else?
A little flirting if you are attracted to
other other person is fine. Smile and keep eye contact.
Be prepared to give and receive
compliments. Maybe you like their aftershave or clothes? If they compliment you, don't put yourself
down in response - just say thank you.
Be polite, and respectful. Do ask
if they mind smoking etc. Don't swear. Don't start eyeing up
other people in the room. Don't drink too much. Don't be too
full on - some guys will run a mile.
Don't talk about your problems,
financial situation, exes, etc. if your date asks you about these things keep it short and
sweet.
Don't put yourself down, moan or
sound negative at any time. Don't come across as desperate.
Don't
give the impression you are there just for free drinks and a meal etc.
At least offer to pay half of the bill (without getting the calculator
out)
Don't take you're children with
you.
Don't be afraid to let them know if, at the end of the date you feel you
would like to see them again. Maybe you
could mention a film you could both see?
If you do not feel you want to
meet them again let them know as gently as you can. Don't lead them on.
Tell them you a good time but there is no future in it and you would
rather not take it any further.
Don't go home with them or allow
them to take you home. Remember, this person was a total stranger a short
while ago. If they are interested you'll get that call, so be patient and a
little mysterious.
ENJOY YOURSELF. Even if you
haven't met your soul mate on this occasion you've had an evening out and
hopefully learned something in the process.
HAPPY DATING
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