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Dating Quotes and Dating Jokes

At women are sexy we feel life can be taken just a bit too seriously sometimes so we thought we would add a bit of fun when it comes to dating and romance.

One good thing about Internet dating: you're guaranteed to click with whomever you meet. - Unknown.

Never date a woman whose father calls her 'Princess.' Chances are she believes it. -- Anonymous

I only date stewardesses. Or maybe it just seems that way. Women always seem to be showing me the exits. - Scott Roeben

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -- Wendy Leibman

I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over. - Garry Shandling

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? -- Rita Rudner

Sleep with a guy once and before you know it, he wants to take you to dinner! - Mires Yori.

My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman. Still, I've got another three goes. - Sally Poplin

I was dating this girl for two years - and right away the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name." - Mikey Binder

(Computer dating) It's terrific if you're a computer. -- Rita Mae Brown

Computerized dating can save a lot of guesswork - but so can a bikini. - Ed Parrish

I was dating this girl for two years - and right away the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name." - Mikey Binder

Yeah, I'm kind of lazy. I'm dating a pregnant woman. - Ronny Richards.

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." * Sharon Stone

I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me. - Scott Roeben

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, - then dropped me as soon as he'd scored. -- Kathy Lette

Rumours about me? Calista Flockhart, Pam Anderson, and Matt Damon. That's who I'm dating. - Ben Affleck

"Do you believe in computer dating?" "Only if the computers really love each other." - Groucho Marx

My grandmother's 90. She's dating. He's about 93. It's going great. They never argue. They can't hear each other. - Catherine Ladman.

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." - Rodney Dangerfield

My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I'm going to tell her I'm dating two different guys : Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer. - Michelle Landry

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." - Rod Stewart

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